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They’re buyin’ the dyin’ Zion lion scion Brian iron ions.

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After the newborn cub Yikʼin Chan Kʼawiil arrived from Asunción to the Jerusalem zoo, clearly a namechange was in order. Sure, naming the new cub at the Jerusalem zoo after an ancient king in Jerusalem would fit perfectly with the symbol of the Davidic line, but naming him after some fictional fake first-century messiah was a stroke of genius humor.

Sadly, the little cub was afflicted with anemia. Prone and moaning, it appeared near death, and no sodium ferric gluconate was in stock.

But don’t worry, the veterinary staff is on it. They’re…