Notice Conan’s Yiddish accent?

Cyrus Adler’s masterful Short History of the Jewish People (3rd ed., 1948, p. 287) tells of Jewish “barbaric tribes and kingdoms” in the “Cimmerian Bosporus” to the north of the Black Sea. Conan came of  Cimmerian stock. Was he one of these Jewish barbarians? 

The Cimmerians appear not only in Robert E. Howard’s Conan tales, but also in  Genesis 10, where the Hebrew equivalent is Gomer. (The English  comes from  Greek Kimmeroi, Κιμμέριοι, from Akkadian Gimirri, cognate to Hebrew Gomer.)

Conan, too,  bore an ordinary  Hebrew name, that of the  Biblical Conaniahu כונניהו (II Chron 31:12-13.) The name means “God has established. “Conan” in place of Conanyahu is a hypercoristic form. Why? Could it be because of the Hebrew’s idol-worshipping tendencies that had to be hidden? Ishba’al son of King Saul (I Chron. 9:39) becomes Ishboshet. So, Conan’s proper Hebrew name?   כוננכרום הגומרי, Conancrom Ha-gumri.

John Hyrcanos, Hasmonean king of Judea, was best known for  barbaric ways of which  Conan would have approved. Hyrcania, the eponymous kingdom south of the Caspian Sea, near the aforementioned Cimmeria, is uncoincidentally one of those lands trodden by Conan’s sandaled feet. But back to Conan’s taste for kreplach. The Cimmerian  region was  also  inhabited by the Scythians, the probable source of the name Ashkenaz. Genesis 10:3 actually presents the two peoples as closely related: Gomer (Cimmeria) is the father of Ashkenaz (Scythia). So yes, Conan, as you might expect, had earned a MLA, was a Jewish barbarian and more specifically Ashkenazi.